How I Learned to Be My True, Authentic Self (And How You Can Too)

Being your authentic self sounds beautiful in theory.

In reality? It’s terrifying.
If I’m being honest, not caring what people think is one of the hardest lessons I’m still learning. I grew up worrying about opinions, reactions, side comments, tone shifts—everything. I assume people are talking about me when they’re not. And if they are talking, I fear it must be bad.
Sometimes I know it’s not reality speaking—it’s my schizophrenia messing with my perception—but knowing that doesn’t magically make the fear disappear.
So if you’ve ever replayed a conversation for hours, felt your stomach drop over a look someone gave you, or convinced yourself you’re being judged with no real evidence… this is for you.

When I Chose to Stop Hiding

When I first started my business, I was a faceless brand. Staying hidden felt safer. If no one could see me, no one could judge me. No one could talk about me. No one could misunderstand me.

At the time, hiding felt like protection.

But something was missing. I wanted real connection. I wanted community. I wanted people to know the person behind the brand—not just the products. So eventually, I did the scariest thing for me: I showed my face.

And something surprising happened.

My confidence grew. My followers grew. I finally felt aligned with what I was building.
Until I messed up.

And when that happened, all those old fears came rushing back.

First: Let’s Be Clear — This Isn’t a “Just Don’t Care” Pep Talk
People love to say: “Just stop caring what others think!”
Cool. Thanks. Super helpful. 🙃

The truth is, some of us are wired to be hyper-aware. Anxiety, trauma, neurodivergence, and mental health conditions can make our brains constantly scan for danger—social danger included.

For me, that means my mind fills in blanks that don’t exist.
So instead of “don’t care,” the real goal is this:
Don’t let other people’s imagined opinions control your life.
That’s very different.

Your Thoughts Are Loud — But They’re Not Always True

One of the hardest things I’ve had to accept is this:
Just because I think something doesn’t mean it’s happening.
My brain is convincing. It tells stories that feel real. It adds tone, judgment, and meaning where there may be none at all. And when you live with something like schizophrenia, those thoughts can feel extra real and extra urgent.

What helps me is gently asking:

Do I have proof?
Or do I have fear?

Fear is loud. Proof is usually quiet—and often missing.
That pause doesn’t fix everything, but it keeps me from spiraling as hard.

Most People Are Too Busy Thinking About Themselves
This sounds harsh, but it’s actually comforting.
Most people are not thinking about you nearly as much as you think they are.

They’re worried about:
How they looked
What they said
Their own mistakes
Their own lives

Even when people do have opinions, they’re fleeting. Someone might think something for five seconds… and then move on. We’re the ones who carry it for days.
And the people who judge the loudest? They’re rarely the ones building, creating, or putting themselves out there.

Being Seen Will Always Invite Opinions — And That’s Not a Bad Thing

This hit me hard when I started showing my face online and sharing my story.
At first, I was a faceless brand—safe, hidden, invisible. When I finally showed up as myself, my confidence grew. My community grew.
But so did my fear of judgment.

Here’s the thing no one tells you: You can be invisible and safe, or visible and alive—but rarely both.
Not everyone will like you. Some people will misunderstand you. Some may even judge you unfairly. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
Usually, it means you’re doing something real.

You Don’t Need Everyone’s Approval to Exist

Read that again.

You don’t owe:
Likeability
Perfection
Silence
An explanation for who you are
You are allowed to take up space even if someone somewhere doesn’t like it.
And honestly? People who are busy judging usually aren’t building anything themselves.
What Helps Me When My Mind Spirals

This isn’t a cure—just tools that help me cope:

Name it: “This feels real, but this might be my illness talking.”
Ground myself: What can I see, hear, or touch right now?
Delay the story: I don’t need to solve this thought today.
Remind myself: I’ve survived these thoughts before.

Some days are harder than others. That’s okay. Progress isn’t linear.

My Weakness Is That I Care Too Much

Honestly—just like the rock song says—my weakness is that I care too much.

I care what people think. I care how I’m perceived. I care deeply about doing things right. And sometimes my brain turns that caring into fear.

But I’m learning that caring deeply isn’t something I need to fix—it’s something I need to handle with compassion.
Being authentically myself doesn’t mean I stop caring.

It means I stop letting that care run my life.
I show up anyway.
I share anyway.
I create anyway.

Even when my mind is loud. Even when doubt creeps in. Even when I’m scared people are talking.

Caring Less Is a Practice, Not a Switch
I still care what people think. I probably always will, to some degree.

But now I try to care more about:
My peace
My creativity
My honesty
My healing

And less about imaginary conversations I’ll never be part of anyway.
If you’re struggling with this too, please know this: You’re not weak.
You’re not broken.
Your brain is trying to protect you—just a little too loudly.
And you’re allowed to live anyway.