It’s no secret that I’m a total sucker for rom-coms and romance books. I love the happy endings, the meet-cutes, the way everything seems to fall perfectly into place by the end. But lately, I’ve been focusing on a different kind of love story — one that doesn’t come with a perfect script or predictable ending.
It’s my own self-love story.
Someone once told me, “You can’t fully love someone else until you love yourself.” At first, I didn’t really understand what that meant. It sounded cliché — the kind of thing you see on Pinterest quotes or hear in a movie. But the older I get, the more I realize just how true it is.
So, I took it upon myself to start my own self-love journey.
I’m in my 20s, still figuring out who I am and what I want. I’m not going to pretend I have it all together — I don’t think anyone really does. But I can say that I feel a lot better about myself now than I did in high school or college. Back then, I struggled a lot with confidence and mental health.
The turning point came when I started taking care of myself — really taking care of myself. Getting the help I needed, setting boundaries, and giving myself permission to slow down. That’s when I started to love myself, little by little.
A Deeper Dive: What Does Self-Love Really Mean?
Okay, let’s go deeper for a second — what actually is self-love?
For me, it’s not just bubble baths, cozy nights, or wearing cute hoodies that say “be kind to yourself” (though I love all those things). Self-love is learning to forgive yourself when you mess up. It’s setting boundaries even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s talking to yourself with kindness instead of criticism.
It’s also realizing that your worth isn’t based on how productive you are, how you look, or who likes you. It’s knowing you deserve peace, love, and happiness — simply because you’re human.
Now, does faith play a part in self-love? For some people, yes — absolutely. I’ve met people who say they found themselves through faith, through God, and through trusting something bigger than themselves.
But I also believe that you don’t have to have it all figured out spiritually to love yourself. You don’t need to have perfect faith or even know exactly what you believe to start taking care of your heart.
Self-love can actually help you find your faith, just like faith can help you find yourself. It doesn’t have to be one before the other. It’s all part of the same journey — learning, growing, and trusting that you’re right where you need to be.
How to Speak to Yourself with Kindness 🌸
If you’re like me, you’ve probably been your own worst critic at times. It’s so easy to show compassion to others but forget to give even a little bit to yourself. Changing that mindset takes time, but it’s one of the most powerful parts of the self-love journey.
Here are a few small ways to start speaking to yourself with more kindness:
- Notice your inner voice.
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself when things go wrong. Would you say those same words to a friend? If not, try rewording them with compassion. - Replace “I should have” with “I did my best.”
We all have moments we wish we handled differently, but guilt doesn’t lead to growth. Remind yourself that you did the best you could with what you knew then. - Celebrate the small wins.
You don’t have to wait for huge milestones to feel proud. Every step counts — even just showing up, resting when you need to, or getting through a tough day. - Write yourself a kind note.
It might sound cheesy, but journaling or even writing yourself a letter of encouragement can shift your mindset. Reading your own words on a hard day can remind you of your strength. - Surround yourself with gentle reminders.
Wear affirmations, hang quotes on your mirror, or use cozy pieces that remind you to love yourself. (This is exactly why I started my brand, Cheerful Comforts — to turn small words of kindness into daily reminders.) 💕
Self-love takes practice. It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being present, patient, and kind to yourself through it all.
I’m not 100% there yet, and maybe I never will be — because self-love isn’t a destination. It’s an ongoing relationship with yourself. I’m happy with who I am and where I’m heading, even if I don’t have everything figured out.
And honestly, that’s one huge reason why my brand, Cheerful Comforts, focuses so much on self-love and mental health. It’s not always pretty or easy — but it’s real. Life isn’t perfect, and anyone who says they’ve got it all figured out is probably lying (and that’s okay too).
I started Cheerful Comforts to be a reminder — both for myself and others — that it’s okay to take things one day at a time. My tees, sweatshirts, and cozy pieces are filled with little affirmations and quotes meant to bring comfort, encouragement, and a smile on the tough days. 💕
✨ You can check them out here: Cheerful Comforts
Because self-love isn’t about having it all together — it’s about showing up for yourself, even when life feels messy.
Final Thoughts 🌿
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that self-love isn’t about perfection — it’s about presence. It’s about showing up for yourself, even when it’s hard. Some days that means prayer, some days it means journaling, and some days it just means getting out of bed and trying again.
Whether your path includes faith, therapy, community, or all of the above — it’s still valid. You don’t need to rush it or compare it. Every chapter of your journey matters, even the messy ones.
So here’s to growing, healing, and learning to love ourselves — one imperfect, beautiful day at a time. 💖
