We grew up thinking adults knew what they were doing.
They paid bills. They went to work. They made dinner. They scheduled appointments. They knew when the oil needed changing and somehow remembered when garbage day was.
Surely, when we became adults, someone would explain all of this to us.
Right?
Wrong.
One minute we were sitting cross-legged on the floor watching cartoons, feeding our Tamagotchis and wondering what was for dinner.
The next minute someone handed us a password to an online banking account and basically said:
Good luck out there.
Welcome to adulthood, 90s kids.
Apparently there was an instruction manual.
We just never got a copy.
We Were So Excited to Grow Up
Remember when being an adult looked amazing?
You could stay up as late as you wanted.
Eat whatever you wanted.
Buy whatever you wanted.
Nobody could tell you to clean your room.
You could have ice cream for dinner if you felt like it.
What nobody mentioned was that staying up until 2 a.m. would eventually feel like a terrible life decision.
You can buy whatever you want — after rent, groceries, insurance, utilities and whatever mysterious expense decided to appear this month.
And nobody tells you to clean your room anymore because now you’re responsible for cleaning the entire house.
This was not in the brochure.
Nobody Actually Knows What They’re Doing
Here’s one of adulthood’s biggest secrets:
Most of us are figuring it out as we go.
At 18, I thought 30-year-olds had everything figured out.
Now I’m in my 30s and I’m realizing adulthood is mostly:
“Is this normal?”
“How long has that light been blinking?”
“Can I put this in the dishwasher?”
“Do I need to call someone about that?”
“Why is everything so expensive?”
“When was the last time I changed my sheets?”
And, of course:
What am I supposed to make for dinner every single night for the rest of my life?
Our parents somehow made adulthood look much more organized.
Maybe they were winging it too.
The 90s Didn’t Prepare Us for This Version of Adulthood
To be fair, nobody could have completely prepared us.
We grew up during an enormous technological shift.
We remember life before smartphones.
Before social media followed us everywhere.
Before everything required an app, password, verification code and monthly subscription.
Then adulthood arrived alongside economic uncertainty, rapidly changing technology, social media comparison, a pandemic, AI and a work culture that seems permanently connected.
We didn’t just grow up.
The world changed while we were growing up.
No wonder we’re tired.
Lesson #1: You Don’t Need to Have Everything Figured Out
Maybe the biggest adulthood myth is that eventually you arrive at some magical age where everything clicks.
Career: figured out.
Money: figured out.
Relationships: figured out.
House: spotless.
Laundry: folded.
Mental health: thriving.
Life purpose: discovered.
Dinner: meal-prepped.
Meanwhile, actual adulthood might look more like eating cereal while Googling how long cooked chicken lasts in the refrigerator.
You can be responsible and still confused.
You can be successful and still unsure.
You can be 30, 35, 40 or beyond and still change directions.
There isn’t a deadline for figuring yourself out.
Lesson #2: Make Your Own Instruction Manual
If nobody gave us instructions, maybe we get to write our own.
And they don’t have to look like everyone else’s.
Your adulthood instruction manual might say:
- Rest before you’re completely exhausted.
- Keep frozen meals around for nights when cooking isn’t happening.
- Put important appointments in your phone immediately.
- Have a designated spot for your keys.
- Clean one room instead of trying to clean everything.
- Ask for help when you don’t know something.
- Google the embarrassingly basic question.
- Keep doing hobbies that make you feel like a kid.
- Stop measuring your timeline against somebody else’s.
- Buy the nostalgic thing occasionally because adulthood needs joy too.
There.
We’re already doing better.
Lesson #3: Your House Doesn’t Have to Look Like a Magazine
Somewhere along the way, adulthood became weirdly aesthetic.
Perfect kitchens.
Perfect morning routines.
Perfect pantries with everything transferred into matching containers.
Meanwhile, some of us are proud because we remembered to move the laundry into the dryer before it developed its own ecosystem.
A home is supposed to be lived in.
There will be dishes.
There will be laundry.
There will be pet hair.
There will be a chair that mysteriously becomes the official headquarters of clothes that aren’t clean enough for the closet but aren’t dirty enough for the hamper.
That’s life.
Clean enough is sometimes enough.
Lesson #4: Bring Back 90s-Style Boredom
We didn’t need to optimize every second of our lives as kids.
Sometimes we just existed.
We watched whatever happened to be on TV.
We doodled.
We reorganized our Beanie Babies.
We stared out the window during long car rides.
We listened to the same CD repeatedly.
We were bored.
And somehow we survived.
Adult life doesn’t need to be productive every second either.
You don’t have to turn every hobby into a side hustle.
You don’t have to document everything.
You don’t have to answer every notification immediately.
Sometimes you can simply exist.
Lesson #5: Stop Comparing Your Behind-the-Scenes to Everyone Else’s Highlight Reel
Social media makes adulthood look like a race.
Someone bought a house.
Someone got married.
Someone had another baby.
Someone got promoted.
Someone started a business.
Someone is traveling through Europe while you’re standing in your kitchen wondering why groceries cost that much.
Their timeline isn’t yours.
The adulthood you imagined at 12 years old doesn’t have to become the adulthood you actually choose.
Maybe success looks different now.
Maybe peace matters more.
Maybe freedom matters more.
Maybe creativity matters more.
Maybe simply building a life you don’t constantly need to escape from matters more.
Lesson #6: Keep Some of Your 90s Kid Self
Growing older doesn’t mean we have to abandon everything we loved.
Watch the comfort movie.
Play the old video game.
Buy the coloring book.
Listen to the playlist that immediately transports you back to your childhood bedroom.
Wear the ridiculous nostalgic T-shirt.
Have cereal for dinner occasionally.
Build the LEGO set.
Collect something simply because it makes you happy.
We’re adults.
We’re allowed.
Maybe one of the best parts of adulthood is finally getting to decide which pieces of childhood come with us.
Lesson #7: Give Yourself More Credit
Think about everything you’ve already figured out without an instruction manual.
You’ve survived changes you never expected.
You’ve learned technology that didn’t exist when you were born.
You’ve made mistakes.
You’ve adapted.
You’ve lost things.
You’ve started over.
You’ve learned boundaries.
You’ve changed your mind.
You’ve discovered parts of yourself you didn’t understand when you were younger.
And somehow, you’re still here figuring out the next thing.
Maybe that’s adulthood.
Not knowing everything.
Just learning what you need as you go.
The 90s Kid Adulthood Survival Guide
When adulthood feels completely ridiculous, remember:
You don’t have to have your entire life figured out.
Do the dishes tomorrow.
Eat the easy dinner.
Take the nap.
Call someone who knows how to fix the thing.
Google the question.
Change careers.
Start over.
Say no.
Ask for help.
Watch your comfort show.
Play your nostalgic playlist.
And occasionally spend an afternoon doing absolutely nothing productive.
Because maybe our parents didn’t forget to give us the adulthood instruction manual.
Maybe there never was one.
We’re all writing it as we go.
And for a generation that went from dial-up internet and VHS tapes to smartphones and artificial intelligence?
I’d say we’re adapting pretty well.
Even if we still have no idea what we’re making for dinner tonight.
Still figuring it out. Still growing. Still very much a 90s kid.
