Remember when we were kids and adulthood looked pretty straightforward?
You grew up.
You got a job.
You moved out.
You got married.
You bought a house.
Maybe you had a couple kids.
And somehow, somewhere in between, you magically learned how taxes, insurance, credit scores, retirement accounts, mortgages, car repairs, doctor appointments and choosing the correct health insurance plan worked.
Yeah… about that.
Now that Millennials are actually adults, I have a question:
Is there actually a right way to do adulting?
Because I’m starting to think we were handed a life checklist for a world that doesn’t exist anymore.
We Thought There Was a Timeline
Growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, adulthood seemed like a series of levels.
Graduate high school.
Go to college.
Get a career.
Move out.
Meet someone.
Get married.
Buy a house.
Have kids.
Congratulations. You have completed Adulting™.
Except real life doesn’t work like a PlayStation game.
Some of us went to college and still don’t know what career we want.
Some changed careers completely.
Some live with their parents.
Some are taking care of their parents.
Some are single in their 30s.
Some don’t want children.
Some can’t afford a house.
Some are rebuilding their lives after things didn’t go according to plan.
And some of us are simply trying to make it through the week while remembering that apparently we’re supposed to schedule a dentist appointment too.
Maybe We’re Not Behind
This is the part I think Millennials need to hear more often:
Different doesn’t automatically mean behind.
The traditional milestones of adulthood really have changed.
Today’s young adults are reaching milestones such as living independently, marriage and parenthood differently and often later than previous generations did.
And honestly?
That makes sense.
The world we became adults in isn’t the same world our parents became adults in.
Housing changed.
College costs changed.
Jobs changed.
Technology changed.
Relationships changed.
The cost of simply existing changed.
Yet somehow we’re still comparing ourselves to an adulthood timeline created under completely different circumstances.
Adulting Isn’t a Checklist
Maybe being an adult isn’t about whether you own a house.
Maybe it’s not whether you’re married.
Maybe it’s not whether you have children.
Maybe it’s not whether you’ve found your forever career by 30.
Maybe adulthood is smaller than that.
Going to work when you don’t feel like it.
Making the appointment you’ve been avoiding.
Learning when to say no.
Paying your bills.
Taking care of the people — and pets — you love.
Admitting when you need help.
Learning from your mistakes.
Changing direction when something isn’t working.
Buying yourself the cereal your parents wouldn’t buy you because you’re the adult now and nobody can stop you.
Honestly, that last one might be the greatest perk.
Nobody Knows What They’re Doing
Here’s possibly the biggest secret of adulthood:
We’re all figuring it out as we go.
Remember being a kid and thinking adults knew everything?
Then you become one and realize:
Oh.
They were winging it too.
There’s no magical moment where someone hands you an Adult Certificate and suddenly you understand health insurance deductibles.
You learn.
You mess up.
You Google things.
You call your parents.
Sometimes your parents Google it too.
And eventually you realize that figuring things out is adulting.
So… Is There a Right Way to Adult?
I don’t think there is.
There are responsibilities we have to take care of, obviously.
But there isn’t one correct timeline for building a life.
You don’t have to own a house by 30.
You don’t have to be married.
You don’t have to have kids.
You don’t have to have your dream career figured out.
You don’t have to stop liking cartoons, video games, Pokémon, Tamagotchis, stuffed animals or whatever else makes your inner 90s kid happy just because you’re technically a grown-up.
Maybe successful adulting isn’t checking every box society handed us.
Maybe it’s creating a life that actually works for you.
And if you’re paying your bills, trying your best, learning as you go and occasionally eating dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets for dinner?
I’d say you’re doing adulthood just fine.
It’s a Millennial thing.
We grew up thinking adults had everything figured out.
Then we became the adults.
And discovered absolutely nobody gave us the instruction manual.